Octoberfest?

October a new month. I now leave the tragedy behind, last week I was not doing well, thinking of reaching, of hoping and of reviving the past. For the first time in my life, my mind took control. Erasing thoughts and feelings slowly out of me.

The Pain was imense, as if i could not go on. I laugh i go out, I invite persons out, we go out, have fun. Still, its like fooling myself, I still see her and think about her no matter what I do. Even while doing my dumb ass research, for my thesis proposal. I watch the game, shes still on my mind. Sometimes i get angry, sometimes sad, mostly sadness is what fills me. I strive to find someone who could fill the void, still it seems wrong. There are more out there, sure, but still...

They say I did the right thing, I know I did, even so... No...
I really did the right thing, like they say, "kung san siya masaya".
I don't want to be a martyr anymore anyway.
Unconditional love, is not true love, true is what must come from both sides, not only from one. I can't live in the unconditional anymore.