Counterstrike

Counterstrike, a game which has kept me company since I was high school. A true stress reliever and it keeps your mind occupied. The game involves the terrorists and the counter-terrorists in which both try to kill each other or complete objectives in order to win.

Just a while ago, I was playing the game at warzone. We got Camille and Tin to play with us. A two on two game with simple rules, race to 15, best 2 out of 3. The teams were me and Camille vs. Tin and Pepi. We had such a hilarious time just fragging each other. I kept laughing at the way both the girls played(it was thier first time to play). You could say we were the loudest people there. The game ended in a tie, Pepi and Tin winning the first game, me and Camille winning the second. We were not able to play a third due to the fact that Camille ran out of time.

Still as I played, I remember something, something I hoped would happen before, but alas, it did not. Now it never could...

Goodnight, goodnight

Parting is such a tearful sorrow, I won't say sweet, cause it is nothing but it. Such an end, never fit for one who loved with all his heart. I find myself asking, where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve such a fate of cruel proportions? Nothing, i never hurt anyone, I lived a good if not an angelic life.

I first loved a girl
Then I loved a princess
Soon I loved a maiden
Fourth, a bestfriend
Next love, fate
The last, a shrew

I loved all truly, never false but to different degrees. I was most happy with the princess, beginning till the end, and even now as friends. The bestfriend showed me love I could never have seen, which made her dissappear like flakes in my other country. Fate, was one never to be, irony at its maximum to all. The shrew, the shrew taught me all, gave me a lot and hurt me most. I loved her the most, I loved her and gave her my all. Now, I wallow in regret, regret of not seeing and the other regret which I hold my morals that vanquished like air.

Although now I wait, wait which may seem futile, but still i wait. I wait for what, you ask? I wait for her, if ever she would realize something, anything that could make us be. Futile it is, I know, but i also wait, wait for the time i have moved on, either way, I hope it would be one of the two. Now, I pray, pray to God to stop this pain.

So now I say, Goodnight, goodnight...

Desolation

I was okay a while ago, but now I'm filled with sorrow, grief and misery. The feeling hurts, such imense pain, full of anguish in my heart and mind. Why? My heart still leads me down the path I choose, the path that consumes all my hope and energy. The mind says otherwise, as I keep feeling agony in my heart my mind gets more resolute. Everything around me is shouting otherwise, but heart still refuses to listen. I wavered for moments there, I'll follow my heart, to the point of breaking, or should that be past tense? I just need help from...

Slowly... A thanks in order.

I'm still confused, oh, so confused. I just wish life would get better, in school and outside school. One thing I'm very thankful for is my friends.
Thanks to the bel air boys, no one can stop us.
Thanks to the fellowship, always there when one is in dire need.
Thanks to the "carebears" always there even if I don't listen to them, thank you, you're advice helped a lot and sorry for not doing what you guys said, I just can't deny my heart.
Thanks to the cara people who brought me up when i was down and never complained, CCD 903!!
Thanks to my La salle friends, still caring about me even if I did not appear too often the past months, (to the block, shiftees and other friends in school)
Thanks to people of MMB, sharing advice and all( lalo na c Amanda_kchaliwell tama ba spelling? and the ever happy Ylla)
Thanks to warzone, idols, and olas who were there to keep a good game going.
Thanks to my friends in far places, US, Italy, Canada(NZ) etc.
Thanks to my cuz,
And thanks to all I failed to mention.

I'll still try to get a better ending, since I still fight cause my heart still feels the same, but now I'll start thinking about myself and the other people who care for me.